The MAGIKALALPHABET Theory Website

Buckle yourself in. This is some scary-ass, schizophrenic Timecube shit and you are Ferdinand Magellan trying to chart these frightful waters. But the globe is simply much too big for your primitive resources and you’re going to get killed in Guam, lose four of your five ships and only a handful of your original hundreds of crewmen will make it back home to say “we did it” and then lose what is left of their minds.

Seriously, I can’t even figure out a reliably way to navigate this shit or what any of it means, but someone on reddit clocked the site at tens of thousands of pages, explaining that it was one man’s years-long mission to prove his alphanumerical theory about the world, and that the writing shows that he has read many religious texts in great depth, incorporating them into his theory. I can’t be certain because I can’t find much descriptive prose, but I’d say this guy suffers from paranoid schizophrenia including auditory hallucinations and synaesthesia, likely involving associations with letters or phonemes. Long, specific strings of letters (like the alphabet, followed by the reverse) are interjected regularly, used sort of like horizontal rules. This guy is probably compelled to respond to hallucinations by recording these strings. There are also lots of examples of a compulsion for symmetry on pretty much every page (see here for example; he writes things like THE/ UPSIDE DOWN/ OF/ THE/ DOWNSIDE/ UP, and most of the continuous strings of letters and numbers are palindromes).

I once tried to read all of Timecube, and I saw an interview with that guy, but the whole Timecube site is probably 20 pages if you print it out, and at least in part consists of English sentences. Timecube is a stable fucking bastion of sanity compared to this scary, bicycle-horn-tooting jumble of highighted numbers, letter triangles, unsettling artwork and gifs of rotating 7’s.

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